No Halos

Friday was the last episode of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien after a few weeks of controversy. It was the end of a way too short era that really should not have happened. By the time Friday came though I was kind of glad it was ending. The media hoopla and the battle of words between the hosts were becoming a bit much but it did make for some good TV. The show was great. It was Conan on his A game and his last words were heartfelt. He went out on top and with class.

Because I had to be home to watch Conan I had to rearrange my whole schedule. I usually go to the late show; there are just less people cuz all the teeny-boppers would have gotten picked up by their parents by then. You would think that would be easy since I don’t do anything but no there was a lot of rushing involved. But I made it to the early show to see Legion. I so didn’t need to go through all the hassle.

In the middle of the desert in a small diner the last stand for humanity is being made. God has lost faith in mankind and has sent a legion of angels to destroy us all. The angel Michael (Paul Bettany), heavily tattooed and armed, has not lost his faith and in an act of defiance has come to earth to protect the unborn child of Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) who is prophesized as being “The last hope mankind has for survival”. Trapped with them in the dinner is a family whose car broke down, a lost traveller, the cook, and the owner and his son.

From the trailers this movie is exactly what you would expect, a mindless action flick. The movie is pointless, the acting is melodramatic, and the dialogue cheesy. The trailer really does show you the best parts of the movie and all the filler in between scenes is just that, filler. I don’t know why I insist on fooling myself when I go to the theatre. I always think that there is a chance it may be good, it is possible that even though it is an action flick that someone took the time to make it a true cinematic experience. That was not the case this time but at least it wasn’t worse than expected.

The director Scott Stewart mainly did visual effects before directing this according to IMDB. He worked on a lot of big blockbuster movies. His experience shows as he does have a good eye for imagery and effects but that is completely wasted on a film like this. He also over does it at times. There is one scene close to the end of the movie where there is some creepy kid with a bag on their head with a stick for some reason. He just focuses on this random character and you believe something would happen but nothing. It was like he had this eerie image in his head and had to get it out do he threw it in there.

The film is populated by B (possibly C) list actors. The biggest name in the movie is Dennis Quaid and his recent film record isn’t very good. There is also Tyrese Gibson, Lucas “What do you mean drift?” Black, Kate Walsh (who will always be the fat girlfriend of Drew Carey), and Roc himself Charles S Dutton. They all brutally ham it up to the point that it is just ridiculous. Then there is the angel Gabriel played by Kevin Durand who was last seen as Blob in Wolverine. I believe he was going for subtlety but he tried so hard that it looked painful. He did have a wicked mace however that looked like it was made by Hephaestus. It had blades, spikes that came out, and it spun like a saw. But that would be mixing mythologies.

I am not recommending this movie. As I said before, it is pointless and definitely not worth paying to see. But it is standable so if one day if it is on TV and nothing else is on and you feel like watching angels with guns fight each other then go right ahead. At least I didn’t miss Conan for it.

Tra