Untitlable.

This weekend I took in a bunch of new movies. Well one actually new movie and 4 new-to-me movies. Out of the 5 movies only 3 are worth a review, the other 2 are so pointless that I don’t want to waste any more of my time or your time with them.

I will warn you however. Slammin’ Salmon which is brought to you by Broken Lizard is just stupid. It is supposed to be a comedy but there really isn’t anything funny about it. At points you may chuckle but that is because you are laugh at it instead of with it. And secondly was Defendor. No that is not a typo it is supposed to have an “or”. The movie is utterly pointless and a waste of time. It is supposed to be an average Joe superhero wanna be thing with emotion but none of that gets through. It is boring, drawn out, with a layer of crappy melodrama. Just don’t bother with those two. Now the good stuff.

First was Date Night. The Fosters (Tina Fay and Steve Carell) are bored with their lives. They go to work, they come home, take care of the kids, and they have a scheduled date night. After hearing that their friends are getting divorced they decide that they are going to spice things up a little. They go to dinner in the city and take someone else’s reservation at a new upscale restaurant. This leads to them being mistaken for a couple of blackmailers who are being hunted by a gangster and some crooked cops.

This movie actually turned out to be a lot funnier than I expected. I was really afraid that whatever was in the ads was the best that I was gonna get. But no, even the stuff that wasn’t shown was funny. A lot of it is slapstick, falling, bad dancing, bumping into things. There is a lot of slick subtle humour too. But that is what these two comedians are known for, especially Fey. There are lots of little side comments and references that if you aren’t paying attention you will miss but if you get it, it is gold.

The movie is pretty much just Fey and Carell with the other main characters being played by Taraji P Henson, Jimmi Simpson, and Common. Henson is a good actress but she hasn’t been in a good movie since her “break out performance” in Hustle & Flow but I often question how good that movie really is. Simpson and Common do a good job of being menacing crooked cops, thugs really. Common seems to be pigeon holing himself into that kind of role. Hopefully he won’t get stuck. And the rest of the cast is littered with cameo appearances including Mark Wahlberg, Kristen Wiig, Mark Ruffalo, James Franco, Mila Kunis, Will.I.Am, and Ray Liotta.

One of the best things about this movie is that Fey and Carell make a believable couple. They aren’t some sort of ridiculous pairing that would never be seen in real life. Plus they are not completely outrageous. They seem like two regular people that just happen to be funny.

I totally recommend Date Night. It is fun, light, and enjoyable, one of the better comedies I have scene in a long time.

On Saturday night I was up late finishing a new piece and after watching SNL (best episode I have seen in a long time thanks to Tina Fey) I was left to flip through the channels. I came across a movie call Fur. Since I had never heard of it I almost skipped over it thinking it was either a foreign film (was not in the mood for sub-titles) or a made-for-TV movie. But then I saw that Nicole Kidman and Robert Downey Jr were in it. So I checked it out.

Diane Arbus (Nicole Kidman) leads a very normal life. She lives in New York with her husband (Ty Burrell) and her two kids. Her husband is a photographer and she works as his assistant. A mysterious man Lionel Sweeny (Robert Downey Jr) moves into their building. She is very attracted to this man with hypertrichosis. He lets her into his world introducing her to individuals that most people would call “freaks” or “weird”. Entering this world opens her mind as she falls in love with Lionel.

Until I did a little research to write this review I didn’t know that Diane Arbus was a real person. She was a photographer in the 50s to 70s and like the movie her photographs are of the odd and strange but there is something interesting and intriguing about it all. You will look at this movie often questioning why you are looking at it but the nature of the movie keeps you watching. It is beautifully shot. The colours, costumes, and sets are wondrous creating lovely images in each frame. Unlike her photos this movie is completely fictional. It is loosely based on where she got her start but Lionel isn’t real and possibly none of the other people besides her family.

Kidman plays Arbus as melancholy and wide eyed. Her movements are somewhat exaggerated but fluid making you look at her when she is on screen. RDJ is covered in hair for most of the movie with the only his eyes and mouth showing but you always know who he is. There is something easily recognizable in is eyes and his voice is unmistakeable. I think this allowed him to be a little freer with his performance and even though he was covered in hair he was sly, seductive, and somehow likeable.

This movie isn’t the best. The ending ruined the rest of the movie for me. Until about the last 10 minutes there was a mystery, a fantasy, in all of it that seemed to just fall apart. I think the problem was the filmmakers tried to shock with the last scenes that came off as almost too revealing, almost vulgar in a way.

Fur is more about imagery than story I find. I don’t recommend rushing out and watching this but if you come across it have a look. It is simply interesting.

Lastly, yesterday I watched Jade Warrior (Jadesoturi). It is a Finnish film that incorporates a Chinese legend. Now this plot is complicated mixing in the present, the past, and a strange mythology. I will give you what IMDB has before I break my brain.

“Thousands of years ago in ancient China, a love struck sword hero fights against his destiny. He wants another chance to be reunited with his loved one and he gets that chance, in a far away place and a far away time, in the cold north, in modern Finland. Jade Warrior is set in ancient China early iron age and present day Finland. The past is feeding the story in present day, slowly revealing our warrior his real origin, his superior skills and his destiny. Jade Warrior – the first Finnish Kung Fu film – combines Finnish and Chinese mythologies into one film. Jade Warrior is an homage to Kung Fu genre strongly spiced with a truly original approach to Finnish national epic Kalevala. Like Kalevala Jade Warrior is a pure melodrama. A story of Kalevala’s greatest hero.”

About 75% is like trudging through a marsh, in the middle of the night, in shorts. It is strange, confusing, and uncomfortable. But that last 25%, the ah-ha moment in the film, when you get it and something is happening makes up for the rest. It is a bit complex, wrapped up in this myth that it creates only giving the audience small pieces but for the most part keeping the real story a mystery.

This movie is a slow mover. The unravelling is just at the edge of unbearable. There is a lot of talk, a lot of back and forth, and a lot of story. At times it is hard to take because it is subtitled and I believe there is a lot lost in translation. Some of the wording just doesn’t seem right based on reactions and consequences. The tone of the English seems a bit too mild. There isn’t a ton of effects but what they do use is used well. It is not the greatest but it is better than some of those CG intense block busters out there.

Jade Warrior (Jadesoturi) is a good movie but you have to be in it for the long haul. The first hour is pretty brutal to sit through cuz it is just so slow but it is necessary to get the aspects of the story to understand the end. It is a definite wait for it to be on TV but I doubt it will be shown often in North America at least but if you come across it is should be checked out.

Ok I think that is enough movie talk. You are so lucky the other movies weren’t good cuz this would have been a lot longer. BTW the title of the post has nothing to do with the content, I just couldn’t think of a title.

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