I may have to live with this

A couple of years ago a friend if mine called me a hipster.

It was very traumatic but I chalked it up to the fact that we were at an art show in hipster central and she was pregnant. Everyone knows that being knocked up makes you crazy. I mean a couple of her reasons were the fact that I wear a lot of t-shirts and am a cynic, that is like half the population of North America. But it still stuck with me.

Last week one of my coworkers, who I guess I can call friend, said I was a hipster. I was taken aback. I couldn’t come up with reasons to dismiss his name-calling. We weren’t in hipster central, we were no where near an art show, and he wasn’t pregnant. I looked at him, mouth agape, trying to ascertain why he had come to this conclusion.

I was immediately on the defensive. I wasn’t douchey. I didn’t know the next amazing band with the weird name. I was never into anything cool before it was cool – except for GoT that’s right I read the books! – and bragged about it. I don’t shop vintage. I don’t shop name brand that looks vintage. His only response was, “Look at yourself.”

I was wearing neon green hightops, 3/4 jean leggings (I refuse to use the other word. I hate that word so much) my Toronto Blue Jays tee (cuz we were at a game) and a blazer with my purple hair in a pseudo-hawk.

OMG I was dressed like a hipster.

When did this happen? How is this possible? I was going for more of a prep look. Yes, that is another elitist subculture but it is somehow more… acceptable.

Maybe this explains the problems I have been having meeting people. First impressions are a big thing and if I am perceived to be one way and then am another, people don’t know what to do with that. They expect conversations about….what do hipsters talk about? Mustaches and being ironic? But they get a kinda nerdy chick who makes fun of mustaches and being ironic.

What do I do? I can’t buy new clothes, I have spent too much money in recent times just buying stuff to revamp my wardrobe. I guess this is what happens when you buy all that stuff on sale from the Gap. I just wanted to look…neat.

This was reaffirmed when I voiced my disapproval of this label to another friend. He disagreed with me and sided with my other friend who he had never met! He was supposed to be on my side not a stranger’s. The thing is he then asked me to describe myself and I couldn’t think of anything.

Am I having an identity crisis?

I can’t have an identity crisis now. I am too ‘old’ and am too busy with all this nothing going on I my life to handle this.

I don’t know why this is causing me so much stress. Maybe it is simply the negative connotation to the word ‘hipster’. Maybe it is because I spent a lot of time making fun of hipsters that being labeled as one means I have spent a lot of time making fun of myself. But I am all about self deprecating but it isn’t funny when you don’t know you are doing it.

I don’t want people’s first impression of me to be douchey or pretentious or conceited or egotistical. I can be many unpleasant things but I don’t think those fit into my spectrum of being.

Maybe I am just being too harsh on the hipsters. I shouldn’t be so judgmental. They are probably very nice people….

Who am I kidding? Its not me.

I say this as I am wearing my crush velvet maroon blazer.