Just a Bit of Dialogue

I have been meaning to post some of my fiction for some time but I can’t bring myself to post any of it. For some reason I have a habit of being pretty depressive when I write. So I have decided to post some of my random dialogue. I do seem to be a bit more silly and fun when I write dialogue. It isn’t meant to do anything or be anything really it just kinda comes out.

This particular piece was written last year. I was getting ready to drop everything I know and move to Japan. I was leaving in like 2 days and I was at my brother’s place where he was prepping my computer for departure. He told me to test out everything to make sure I was ready to go. I was clicking around and opened word and this is what happened. I was only planning to write a couple of words but it turned out to be a bit more than that. It is a bit long but I hope you enjoy.

Just a Bit of Dialogue

What is happening?

I don’t know, things.

Really I didn’t know things happened.

You don’t know much then. Cuz things happen all the time.

Really? I guess you learn new things all the time. Like do you know what’s up?




I guess you know something new today as well.

I guess I do.

I am glad we could share this learning experience together.

You’re retarded.

The doctor says I am fine

Really? When was your last check up?

A little while a go I guess. Like, a year or two.

Well I really think you should go back and have your doctor check you out a little more.

No. I don’t think so. I feel fine. Plus doctors are not my cup-a-tea.

Well they shouldn’t be. They aren’t chamomile or anything.


Cup-a-tea. Chamomile. Get it?

Oh I get it. That was lame.

Not any lamer than “air”.

Air wasn’t lame, it was classic.

No I think you mean old. Been there, done that.

Yeah like that was a new statement. I have never heard that one before.

Shut up

No you shut up.

Wait. How old are you again.

Old enough.

Old enough for what? Blowing bubble with your spit?

Spit bubbles? I haven’t done that in forever. Let’s try.

That’s nasty.

No it’s not its fun but you have to remember to have a napkin on hand or else you will get drool all over your face. Or have dark sleeves or something.

This conversation is taking a turn for the worse.

No I just think it is going in a new direction.

Turn for the worse is a new direction. You know to the left.

Ha, ha, hilarious, to the left.

I know I am great. You are just jealous of my wittiness.

Wittiness? I wouldn’t call that wittiness. Remember when you were calling me lame before, well you have gone to a new low there.

I think you are mistaken my dear.

Deer? Do I look like I am playfully bounding around a forest waiting for a hunter to shoot me in the head?

What? Where do you come up with this stuff?

My mind is full of many things.

Yeah it is called BS!

There is no BS in here. It is pure knowledge that I have accumulated in the many years of my existence.

I really wish you didn’t exist sometimes. The crap you spew can be so tiring.

Tiring? You should be absorbing the wonder that is me. I emulate all that you should thrive to be.

Oh my god! Someone thinks highly of themselves.

Why not? I am great after all.

Megalomaniac much?

You really need to learn to speak in full sentences.

I speak fine.

Do ever actually listen to the things you say.

No, that is your job.

Well I really wish it wasn’t cuz dam, you should be keeping some of that stuff to yourself.

So you are telling me that you can go spew as much as you like and I have to shut up? I don’t think so.

The problem is you don’t think.

I … don’t … think! How could you say something like that?

You have been questioning my greatness.

Wow, your humbleness astounds. You insult me and then you turn it into me insulting you?

I am gifted with words.

Gifted my ass.

It is nice I must admit.

No butt checking allowed. What is wrong with you?

Nothing, this is just who I am.

I have noticed actually.

And here we are, still friends.

I don’t know about the friends part.

What? You still talk to me on a regular basis.

Just cuz I talk to you doesn’t make me your friend. I talk to lots of people and I wouldn’t call them my friend.

But are these people you talk to on a regular basis?

Some of them. There is the cashier at the grocery store. That guy with the messed up teeth that comes in here all the time. There is that one bus driver that I seem to get all the time. The list goes on. They are acquaintances not friends. Just more people on the list of people I can say I know.

So I am an acquaintance then?

I never said that.

But you said that I am a person you talk to on a regular basis who is not your friend. And you just defined that as being an acquaintance.

No, I defined those people as acquaintances. It is the whole all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares thing.

We are on to geometry now?

I was just making a comparison, okay. All friends are acquaintances but not all acquaintances are friends.

But if someone is not an acquaintance or a friend then what does that make them?

I haven’t figured that out yet but that is you.

Great. I am an un-named entity in your world.

That sounds about right.

And which one of us needs to go to the doctor?

You do.

No I think you do.

No doctorbs for me.

Why cuz the b is for bargain and you need everything name brand.

I am not allowed to make pop culture references now.

You could do what you want. But I am going to be over there.

Can’t be seen in public with me anymore?


Aw come on.

Over there.


Original Fiction

About the Author


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *