No Resolve

Well, it is a new year. The fireworks have been set off, food has been eaten, drinks have been drunk, the clock ticked, or possibly tocked, and a new year has begun. All of a sudden everyone is asking, “What’s you new years resolution?”

This is always a tough question to answer. I am a procrastinator and I don’t think about it until the last second, literally. 11:59:59 and I think to myself what is my resolution for the up coming year? But by the time the whole thought runs through it is 12:00:01 and I got people all over me for the answer. Usually I come up with the standard, lose some weight, get in shape, learn something. These responses mean nothing to me and have no real worth. But then I go home and really think about it. What do I want to do with my year?

I always come up with crazy but not impossible things. Be on tv, bungee jump, take a class, sky dive, lose weight, go on a trip, meet a movie star, make a million dollars. Most years I don’t accomplish any of these things. Sometimes I do manage to go on a trip that is short and unfilling, or lose weight and promtly regain it, or take a class, it finishes, and then I don’t know what to do with my new found knowledge. The year ends and I feel I have let my resolutions down. I feel sad and then 11:59:59 comes along and I start the vicious cycle again.

Well no more, I say, no more.

This year I, at 12:00:01, proudly said I don’t have a resolution. This way when the end of 2009 hits I have no regrets, no woes, no sudden bouts of panic. I can say that everything I did for the year is everything I expected, if I did nothing or something, because I didn’t restrict or put undue pressure on myself the year would have gone swimmingly. And If I managed to make a million bucks, or be on tv, or become a super model it would be icing on the cake.

I know I know it is the easy way out. Instead of striving toward reaching that finish line where ever I stop is where the finish line will be. But this allows me to go through every open door I see and do whatever I wish with my year. This just works for me.

I mean I could get in shape. Instead of being a blob I could be an hourglass. I should go back to school and learn something but what? I could try a little harder at work or get a better job or something. I don’t know. But now that I haven’t made a resolution on any of these things I don’t have to try and come up with the answer or a game plan now. It puts my mind at ease.

I guess what I’m saying is that my resolution is not to make a resolution.

Less than a day in I already failed. Now I have to wait a whole year fix it.

Happy New Year.

Tra