I used to be one of those people who liked Spam. Oh don’t scrunch up your face like that. Everyone was given Spam at some point in their childhood and depending on how it was prepared it would have either scarred you or you just ate it and went on with your day. My mother is a good cook so I have fond memories of Spam. She would fry it up and toss in some veggies and seasoning and slide it between 2 slices of bread. If you weren’t told it was Spam you would never have known.
*Sidenote: Did you know that Spam is actually an acronym? It is either from SPiced hAM or Shoulder Pork and hAM. Well now you do.
Anyways, Spam has been ruined. I know it was never gourmet or anything but I never used to get enraged when I heard the word or saw a can of the stuff. I would be like “Oh look there is some Spam.†Now it’s more like, “I hate friggin’ SPAM!†You know what I am talking about right? Those stupid internet advertisers have ruined it all. They ruined Spam like telemarketers ruined the sound of your phone ringing.
Every time I hear the word spam or see it written I instantly get flashes of Russian women who want to marry me, penis enlarging devices, and pharmaceutical drugs. I get at least 10 of these messages in my mailbox a day. And since this site has been up I have had over 1000 spam comments posted. I mean really! You would think after the first 10 were removed that they would stop but those buggers are insistent. At one point I was getting 30 a day. It was driving me up the wall.
I wish there was a “do not post†or “do not email†list for spammers just like the “do not call†list with telemarketers. That would be a seriously long list but most spammers just use bots anyways so it is not like someone will be scrolling this list of like a billion names or anything. But something like this will never and probably can never be properly implemented. It really isn’t a big deal to just delete them but it just gets annoying. Do you know how many people have come across my profile on some fictitious site and thought I was hot and we should get in touch? A lot. And no I don’t need Viagra, penile implants, or things to turn the ladies on. I am a girl!
So, Spam has forever been ruined for me. Damn you! Damn you to HELL!
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1 Comment
Here’s a non-spam comment – Hilarious !! You are a girl? thats highly debatable, bring your fabulous self to my back door salon and we will see what we can do to convince these spammers that you indeed arent in need of viagra, atleast not for anything but recreational purposes !! LOL – LOVE YOU SWEETY !!