Don’t look, Don’t Listen

My mother is old school. To her swearing is only done by bad people and is horribly offensive. But with today’s culture swearing is still vulgar but is not offensive if used in a non malicious manner. So if some is thrown in regular conversation it is no big deal to most of us. Yes we still watch our tongues when around children and elders but with friends and equals you can let loose. Also for her sexual discussions are inappropriate and sex scenes should only go as far as a kiss on screen. There shouldn’t be near nudity or further.

My mother, like myself, likes movies. Mind you I am more discerning about what I watch but still she often likes to seat herself in front of a movie. And because movies today are a “reflection” of our society (skewed as it may be) I find it hard pressed to find a movie out there without any course language or sexual content. This is of course ignoring sugar coated kids movies and anything animated (I don’t know what she has against animated).

Regularly I find myself censoring movies for her. She will ask me if this is good or what it is about and I have to run through the whole thing in my head. I have to think is the story something she would like? Is there course language? Is it low-end or high-end course language? How much is there? Is there any sex or vulgar discussions? And based what I remember I usually tell her, “it is good but you won’t like it.” And she understands exactly what I mean.

There are certain movies that I know she would like if she could get over the swearing. They are interesting, complex, and exciting. But as soon as the f-bomb is dropped more than once she is completely turned off. Like she loves action flicks and she would love them if she could get past the language and you know there is going to be some gratuitous sex scene in there.  There are indie films that she may get a kick out of or even some Oscar winners that she will never see simply based on language. Movies like Magnolia, The Departed, and Adaptation will never be seen by her and it is a shame.

Then there are the movies that I know right off the bat based on director or actor or type of movie that she will just not like at all. Anything by Kevin Smith or Quentin Tarentino or Guy Ritchie fits perfectly into this category. Smith’s movies are so vulgar that my mother’s ears would bleed and have too much talk in them to fully keep her attention. Tarentino’s and Ritchie’s windstorm of cussing mixed in with hyper-violence would offend her eyes not alone her ears. These are great movies that she would never be interested in simply based on style and language.

But then there are movies/shows that she watches and loves that are really surprising. They have all her no-no’s but she will sit in front of it and have a blast. Thank god for TBS and there crazy censorship. She is a manic fan of the Die Hard series for example but she hasn’t watched them uncensored. She tried watching the DVD at home once and turned it off halfway she kept saying she couldn’t remember the movie having so much swearing in it. And she is a fan of Sex and the City. You would think this would be impossible but it is true. But she only started watching the show when it was cut down to show in syndication during prime time. All the nudity, language, and vulgarity of the show were cut out. And that was the fun of the show. Then she watched the movie and that was a good but P.C. version of the show anyways.

But the reason why I bring this up is because the other night I had to race out of my room to tell my mother, “Don’t watch that!” Only a few seconds before I was calmly sitting in my room, checking emails, and all I could here was Randal saying something about sniffing his fingers. At first I giggled and oh Clerks 2 popped into my head. Two seconds later I came to a realization and OMG CLERKS 2 flashed in bright red and burst into flames in front of my eyes. Of course by the time I reached there to change the channel she was not impressed. I couldn’t help but laugh and she didn’t think it was funny at all. She asked, “How is it ok for you to watch these movies?” To which I responded, “Well, if I didn’t watch them who would keep you from watching them?”

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