Topic 1: Misconceptions – Avoid the trap.

Misconceptions occur when the other party in the relationship is unclear as to what their partner is saying. So the first step would be to say what you mean and do what you say. Easier said than done? Perhaps, but if you don’t want mistrust to creep in, especially in a new relationship – be consistent. Your partner will appreciate it. For instance if you don’t really have plans but things are “in the works” and you’re asked what you’re up to – It’s fine to say nothing but include the fact that there may be these things going on later that you might be doing, that way if you do end up getting that call later and you’re out and about you can avoid the “well I thought you said you weren’t going to do anything” conversation. Sure the headache medication companies may not agree with this – but it’ll save you in the long run. This is especially true if you’re hanging out with one or more of your ‘unsavory’ friends.

If you happen to be the person asking the question though, try not to be a neurotic mess. True story – A Journal entry reads “It’s ok if he is hanging out with his friends. it doesnt mean that you are loved any less or that he doesnt care – he probably does but doesnt have time ? What does it matter though – look to your own life and spend your time focussing and making sure that you arent losing track of yourself amidst all of this. When the both of you have time, it will pan out – You can totally do this!”

To truly avoid misconceptions and feeling like something is amiss – be explicit (if you so wish) about most things because it helps prevent doubts on either side. Also? Learn to let go and compromise and dont make your relationship all about your object of affection. It sets up a bad pattern of feeling like you have been betrayed when things evolve, as they inevitably do for the better or worse.

Key ideas ? (1) Communicate effectively (2) Dont be El Capitane Crazy and let small issues evolve into becoming grandeur points of contention

When all else fails ? Take a breather and think of a good part of the relationship to help you with thinking about why you are with your love.

Cory & Nel

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